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Why We Need To Get Over Our Fear of Rejection

Get Over Our Fear of Rejection

Nobody likes the word NO.

It sucks, usually, when you want something and you just can’t have it.

No… you can’t have that job.

No… I won’t pay you $70k a year so you can pay off your student loans of a million dollars.

No… you can’t have that slice of pizza.

DAMNIT.

But let’s face it…

NO is definitely a word that we need to get used to.

Especially us young people at the very start of our careers.

Now, I won’t lie… I’ve always been one of those people who hates rejection.

I HATED applying for jobs and getting back that super annoying e-mail…

“Thank you for your interest…blah…blah…blah…but unfortunately, we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates that better qualify…blah…blah…blah.”

Translation: YOU ARE A LOSER.

I hated it SO much that for a long time, I just stopped applying.

Even to jobs that I really wanted.

Because I figured that at the very least, my inbox wasn’t full of rejection e-mails.

Life was good!

But after a while, I noticed that I wasn’t getting any offers either.

How could I? I wasn’t applying!

You see…that scary and vulnerable position that we put ourselves in that quite often leads to rejection…it’s the SAME position that also gets you what you want.

When it comes to your career, you need to learn to love the word NO.

Or at the very least, you need to stop being scared of it.

Because your career is NEVER going to be handed to you.

Nope…sorry.

You can’t just sit back, play X-Box all day, and expect that someone’s going to knock on your door and offer you your dream job.

That’s not the way it works.

You have to WORK for your career.

You have to ASK for what you want.

You have to take CHANCES.

And while you’re doing this, you’re going to hear NO every once in a while.

Maybe even all the time.

But it shouldn’t discourage you…

Because it means that you’re doing something right.

Think about it…

If you’re facing rejection…if you’re hearing the word NO…it means that you’re putting yourself out there.

It means that you’re taking chances. It means that you’re asking for what you want.

Sure, you’re giving other people the opportunity to say NO to you.

But you’re also giving them the opportunity to say YES.

So don’t be afraid of rejection.

Embrace it.

Learn to love it.

Because the more you hear the word NO, the less it’ll affect you.

And in the long run, you’ll take more risks.

And you’ll take more chances.

And you’ll ask for what you want.

And you’ll get it.

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  3. I also like a quote from the show How I Met Your Mother: Doesn’t being scared let you know you’re on to something important? If you’re not scared, you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?

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  4. This is such an important and difficult lesson. I also think we need to learn that if you are rejected from a job it’s not personal — that job just wasn’t for you. We have to stop thinking about getting the interview “right” or coming off as perfect. The best thing you can do is be yourself and find a job that fits your strengths rather than the other way around. You have to trust that interviewers will always pick the right person for that job, and if it isn’t you, — on to the next!

    Reply

    • That’s great advice, Kelsey! We can’t take it so personally -even though it’s really hard not to sometimes. And yep, best thing to do is be yourself! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Reply

  5. Over the time that I filled out job applications in the last couple of years, I have experienced rejection constantly. Sometimes it was instantaneous as my application was rejected; sometimes it took a couple of days. But the result was always the same: REJECTED! If you don’t match up EXACTLY to what a company wants you will never get a chance at an interview. After 20+ years in retail and 100+ applications to various companies, I got ZERO interviews. So seriously, what is wrong with me that I can’t land an interview. Companies are part of the problem by making profiles so extreme that they will only accept those that match them to the letter. I don’t believe rejection is the people but the horrible companies themselves and the technology that drives their application process. Until this changes, I will probably unemployed for ad infinitum.

    Reply

  8. I have a large file of letters that I personally call “Please, Fuck Off” letters. I’ve hunted for jobs several times over the past 20 years. It sucks. You have to learn to laugh things off and keep hunting. And accept that starting from the bottom doesn’t suck, it’s just a stepping stone to running the show.

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  9. I have been serious job hunting for the last couple of weeks. I am so tired of those nicely put rejection emails that I could spit! So yesterday I decided to get all dolled up and made a list of places to apply to in my town. Everywhere I went and asked if they were hiring, I was looked at like I had 50 heads and everywhere told me “If we were hiring it would be on the website and you would have to go from there”. I didn’t know that basically ALL employers are making you fill out an online app! What happened to the good ol’ days where you burned a half a tank of gas and put on a black blazer in 75 degree weather just for a job prospect!?!

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  11. Agreed…”No” is a big part of adulthood, and the quicker we learn to respond to it (and show that we KNOW how to respond to it), the more resilient we’ll be.

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  15. This is something my mom always used to tell me – if I wouldn’t try for something out of fear of getting a “NO”, I would have the “NO” already… Never valued this piece of advice as much as at present, during applications that may give me a “NO”. You’re absolutely right – thanks for the reminder 🙂

    Reply

  16. Very Good article Kayla. Lots of young people have no idea that competing and taking things into their own hands is the only way to get anything in life. Too many people at school kept talking to them about fairness and entitlement and believed it. The day you realise that these two things are just airy fairy concepts that have little to do with real life is the day you start doing something with your life. Nice to see that some young people get it!!!!! 🙂

    Cheers Michael

    Reply

  18. Great post! I feel like I should ask this guy I’m interested in if he’d want to see about taking us more seriously…. I tried last night but chickened out, out of the pure thought of his saying no. But what the hell! Better than living in the “what If” 🙂

    Reply

  21. Excellent! I love this post because you approached the dilemma from a positive way. I hate reading articles that are negative. Screws up my mojo. This refreshes my perspective!

    Reply

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